Post-Oscars 2012: Not-So-Live Blogging

Yes, you can re-live it all with me now: typed as it happened...

• Tim Gunn + Nina Garcia on the red carpet = love.
• What was wrong with Nick Nolte?  Oh right: he's Nick Nolte.
• A producer mentions there will be Cirque du Soleil?  Lord.  That could be very cool...or ridiculously bad.
• Morgan Freeman opens the show - that felt stately; good choice.
• Opening medley seemed too short.
• Tom Hanks recognizes a seat-filler?  Interesting choice.

Cinematography goes first?  Damn, I'm 0/1 right away.
Art Direction brings me back to 1/2.  

• Hey, producers: I want to go to sleep at a reasonable hour too, but why does this all seem so rushed already?
• Cutaway to the band in the box seats: strange...until...wait: that's Sheila E., about to kick the high-hat in a glittery dress?  Yeah, that works!  Bring it on, "Glamorous Life!"
• Premiere of JCP commercial with Ellen: score!
• McDonald's even has a cinematic feeling commercial: wait, this really is like a Gay Super Bowl!
• Commercial for new series, "GCB" - um, anything with Kristin Chenoweth saves it!
• Loving the Kodak bankruptcy humor.
• Another movie medley?  This is what we were rushing for?
• Smart choice: seems like all the technical awards are going first...hey, that's how I structured my previous blog post.  Genius move, right?

Costume Design winning choice underwhelms me.  I'm 1/3.  But the acceptance speeches have been smartly succinct.
Makeup category features clips of praise - nice touch. Back to an even split of right/wrong on my ballot: 2/4.

• Celebrity clip testimonials: nice tribute to imagination and magic...but could they have picked more diversity and better articulated snippets?  Will this be the bumper to every commercial break?
• Sandra Bullock: looks great, riffs on foreign language, and surprises me auf Deutsch!  But this is the 84th Academy Awards.  Can we please stop saying that every year this gets "more international?"

Foreign Language Film puts Iran into the Oscar record books and puts me at 3/5.  Phew.  I thought that acceptance speech was moving into dangerous political posturing but then he reeled it in just in time to be appropriate for an international category of a global award.

• Introduction of Christian Bale that referenced the 2012 presidential election was great.

Supporting Actress: here we go.  Octavia Spencer completes her landslide and looks gorgeous!  Standing ovation?!  Awesome.  She recognizes the "hottest guy in the room" - double awesome.  I'm 4/6.  And (yes, I'll go there) I'm still a bit troubled with all the heaps of formal recognition that might be going to extremely talented and deserving (African American or Black) actors who play maids.  There, I said it.

• Miracle Whip commercial was trying hard to be clever but who wants to go to a website for a free sample of that mess?  Yuck.
• Ashley Judd is in a new TV series that looks like...oh, every Ashley Judd damsel-in-distress-who-will-kick-your-ass movie.
• Fake focus group ends with Billy Crystal asking, "...weren't they hilarious?"  Well, actually no.  I love Catherine O'Hara and Jennifer Coolidge, but I was bored.
• Thank you Tina Fey for making a funny set-up even better: wahoowa!

Film Editing: my "should win" pick wins over my "want to win" and "will win" picks - should I always go with my gut?  Love that the editors edited themselves off the stage.  Slipped to 4/7.
Sound Editing: my "should/want to/will" win pick redeems me to 5/8.  That Hugo/you go joke - lame.  The universal thanks to everyone who ever has been, is, or will be: better than lame.
Sound Mixing: another triple-pick for me, and another correct guess for 6/9!

• Diet Coke commercial tribute to the movies: totally worked for me.  Take a lesson, Miracle Whip.
• Muppets - yay!
• Cirque du Soleil goes to the movies!  Standing ovation: well done (even the few flubs were covered up well) and just non-stop awesome.  And so much better than the "Michael Jackson Immortal" show and "Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark!"  Was the gratuitous involvement of stars from "The Artist" necessary?  No, I thought it was distracting and a terrible reason to cut the camera away from the circus.  When will that Cirque show tour?!?!

Documentary: the feel-good movie wins, and I lose.  7 out of 10.  And an acceptance speech that starts with "This is ridciulous!" borders on being exactly that.  What was bleeped?  It was enough to play them off the stage: cutting to a shot of a mostly disinterested audience was rude.

• Will the presentation of every category start by reciting some quote?  That technique might fill a high school term paper, but don't fill my awards show with that, please.
• Chris Rock: hilarious introduction of the category.

Animated Feature: the gecko wins!  Mark me 8/11.  OK, this speech starts not with "ridiculous" but with "crazy."  Nominees, please note: use your words.

• Commercial for Pixar movie "Brave:" I'm in.
• Melissa McCarthy sketch: hilarious.  Emma Stone: totally going for it.  Jonah Hill: well played.

Visual Effects: Martin Scorsese explanatory clip said it best: we look at the future of film by going back to the origins of film.  Brilliant.  You go, "Hugo!"  Everyone is paying tribute to Martin Scorsese: interesting move to compensate or risky move to predict?  I'm 9/12.

• Melissa Leo looks overly painted into makeup.  Has it really been 2 hours already? 

Supporting Actor: Captain von Trapp for the win at 82 - oldest actor ever to win, but who's counting?!  Aw...his acceptance is stately, funny, humble, and charming.  He's only two years younger than the Oscars?!  Wow.  My ballot is now scored at 10/13.

• Oh great.  They just announced that the "In Memoriam" tribute is coming up.  Tissues are within reach.  
• The Billy Crystal "What Are They Thinking?" routine - I heart this! 
• The Academy president = time for a bathroom break!
• Love Penelope Cruz in short(er) hair.  But the camera zoom on her breasts before she opened the envelope?  Roo.

Original Score: the winner has no formal training in orchestral arrangement or composing.  There's hope for my EGOT yet!  I'm 11/14.

• Will Ferrell and Zack Galifinakis: this has to be a comedic set up for The Muppets to win!

Original Song: A flying Conchord wins it for all of humanity and all of muppethood.  Hooray!  I'm up to 12/15.

•  Apparently, sitting in the front row at the Academy Awards is like sitting in the front row at a comedy show or drag bar: never do it unless you want to be endlessly picked on.
• Angelina Jolie: work...that...leg...slit.  But please: eat some more calories and unsaturated fat (or wear sleeves).  Thanks.

Adapted Screenplay: The Groundlings win, but my beloved "The Invention of Hugo Cabret" loses.  Love the mimic of Angelina's stance!  I'm down to 12/16.
Original Screenplay: I thought "Midnight In Paris" was sweet and romantic.  You know what else is sweet?  Scoring 13/17 so far!

• Another celebrity montage explaining why they love the movies: would prefer more sentimentality, less snarkiness.
• So will the "those we lost" montage come before or after the three short film categories?
• Milla Jovovich was the best they could do to host the Technical Awards ceremony?  Cool to see the glimpses of what was awarded.
• All the "Bridesmaids" presenting: very nice.  Hilarious penis jokes setting up the short film categories.  This is why we need more women headlining in comedy!  A "Scorsese" drinking game - OMG!

Short Film - Live Action: safe convention wins over harrowing emotion.  Sweet father and daughter, and a shout-out to the mom.  I'm 13/18.
Short Film - Documentary: my political/social activist hopeful wins, even if I lose the point!  I'm 13/19.  And a fitting demonstration of why everyone needs to be a feminist.  Uh-huh.  I went there too.
Short Film - Animated: a happy win for flying books!  Hooray!  (Although I would have been happy with "La Luna" or "A Morning Stroll" too - very happy for the two "swamp rats" who won!)  Now at 14/20.

• Why is Michael Douglas presenting the Director category?  Was no other director available?  No James Cameron, Clint Eastwood, Kathryn Bigelow, Spike Jonze?

Direction: that Michel Hazanavicius is as cute and charming as his cast - who knew?  Now at 15/21.

• The Governors Awards made me a little teary.  This does not bode well for me and the upcoming tribute that will have me seeing dead people...  In the clip of Oprah accepting her award, did you catch the cutaway to Gayle?!  Yeah, I'm juss' sayin'...  And Meryl seemed genuinely humbled.  
• "In Memoriam" with Esperanza Spalding!  I thought the minimal voiceovers and the gorgeous title cards with black and white photos were fantastic.
• Natalie Portman looks amazing.  What's with this scripted, directed praise from one presenter?  Not sure I am enjoying that bit.

Actor: oui, oui!  Jean Dujardin looks better in color, with a haircut, and salt-and-pepper hair!  Lovely acceptance with such nice emotion when he let loose!  At 16/22.

• Colin Firth seems uncomfortable reading his praises.  Come on, Mister - you won last year for a movie about royalty speaking in public!  The reference to "Mamma Mia!" was awesome.  More of that, instead, please.  He's making Meryl tear up, as am I.

Actress: OMG - Meryl wins her third!  Hooray!  Those cheers are all real and so deserved!  Now I am happily 17/23.  She is a funny, class act - so sweet.  And she is making me cry again!  They better not play her off, damnit.  Wow. 

• Hmmm...Tom Cruise is looking good.  Maybe I should have seen that latest "Mission: Impossible" movie after all.  Netflix queue!

Picture: big win for the little movie that many would not have believed.  And the acceptance includes Auggie - aw, cute.  That bring me to 18/24.




And there you have it: the 2012 Academy Awards.  My final score on my ballot is 18 out of 24 guesses correct (75%).  Not perfect, but much better than last year's (62.5%).  Time to renew my commitment to the "research" over the next twelve months...and thank you, Movies, for filling my life with stories, characters, wonder, magic, imagination.  So just in case you were wondering, that's why I'm a fanatic about this stuff.  Until next year...aaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnddddd fade.